I am currently involved in a self development course to try and change my habitual habits of not seeing things through and changing my mind before the major change I originally intended has come anywhere near fruition.
It does however now seem to be working both on a subconscious level and also in my conscious actions and is self-evident from my output since I have been following the regular daily short video’s.
I have achieved at least some of the tasks that I know I should have done ages ago and persistently but always talked my self out of. The main difference between previous attempts and now is that I actually feel like doing it instead of just going through the motions and hoping that I would feel better afterwards.
Anyway, the latest two instalments are the the subjects that gave arise to my Reality Checkpoint and are concerned with negative and positive emotions. It is with this simple scoring system that has made me aware that I am not very positive at all! and goes some way to explain why I have never managed to lift myself out of the rut that I seem to have been following for possibly twenty years. Actually this is a wholly pessimistic outlook as there have been quite a few major accomplishments by myself and my partner within this time period, in fact a lot more than some people manage in a lifetime but what I’m trying to say is that it is a viewpoint on my terms and not other peoples idea of what they think I or themselves should be doing or have done.
To illustrate I will list the emotions and my current score for each one, first the negative….
On a scale from 1 – 10 (1 being “I am in control of me” and 10 being “I am consumed by these emotions”)
Fear – 3
Jealousy – 5
Hatred – 4
Revenge – 7
Greed – 2
Superstition – 2
Anger – 7
Total = 30
Now the positive…
On a scale from 1 – 10 (1 being “I am numb to this emotion” and 10 being “I am in harmony with these emotions”)
Desire – 3
Faith – 2
Love – 1
Sex – 1
Enthusiasm – 2
Romance – 1
Hope – 2
Total = 12
The total scores speak for themselves and it is apparent that I am more than half consumed with negative emotions!!
I am wondering if this is an average score or am I just individually not a very happy person? I would really like to know where some other members of the tribe come out on this?